When a relationship first starts it can be very hard to keep our hands of our partners. As we get older and have kids, move to more demanding jobs, responsibilities increase, and we end up with a million and one things to do everyday romance and intimacy can be forgotten.
If you’re lucky you’ll have a partner that can make you see how worth it getting into the mood and enjoying yourselves can be even when sex and intimacy feel like the last things you want.
Brittany Gibson decided to take action and turn her sex life around. She is a blogger and author of the memoir ‘Fat Girl Walking’. Brittany decided with her husband, Andy, to commit to having sex every day for a year no matter what.
Brittany’s blog is not like many other blogs you will encounter. It’s not about her adventures perfecting homemade crafts, nor about magnificent culinary feats by the ordinary woman. Rather, she is brutally honest about her life raising 3 kids with Andy.
Not So Perfect
Brittany started her blog when she was a stay at home mother with her very young kids. And while the internet was full of pretty things from other’s lives. But those things weren’t true in Brittany’s life. So she started writing crudely, messily, and honestly about her life.
Brittany admits that she was always a little unhappy with her weight. Growing up her weight was a struggle and this followed her into adulthood. The exposure to, and type of negative body conditioning from, magazines can hound women. Her insecurities followed her into the bedroom and manifested there.
In addition to her body related insecurities, Brittany came from an emotionally distant family. She felt that this had led to her being “horrible at intimacy”. She went on to say the fault was not with her husband but rather her inability to shut off her insecurities.
Long List of Excuses
She was using every excuse possible to avoid what had become an anxiety-inducing experience. Menstrual cramps, deadlines, and children having nightmares. Her issues with herself were causing a wedge between her and Andy. Her Husband couldn’t understand why she didn’t believe his reassurances.
Time for Change
Gibbons finally realised that things needed to change and came up with the plan to have sex every day for 365 days, barring medical and logistical issues. As much as she wanted it to have been a profound realisation, it was really out of the fear she might lose her husband due to her distance.
For Brittany is was far more about learning to accept herself and come to terms with her own body than it was about sexual satisfaction. She was throwing herself into the deep end, where she felt most insecure, to learn how to swim through the self-doubt.
Chore at First
At first, she wasn’t connecting to the romance or desire but rather something she just had to do. She said that it wasn’t enough for her husband to compliment her but that she, needed to like herself most importantly.
Getting to that Place
To get her to that point where she herself felt sexy, Brittany went and bought some new cute and sexy pairs of underwear. She loved the way they looked on the hips and found herself walking around comfortably in them.
A Turning Point
Previously she has scurried from room to be bathroom hidden under a towel, hoping not to be seen. Now that the ball was rolling she went back for some more panties and even daringly tried on some lingerie and sent some photos to Andy at work.
A Great Boost in Intimacy
As the daily sex sessions continued the intimacy between the couple outside of the bedroom grew too. The couple was being romantic with one another, touching arms as they passed, and kissing longer before for work instead of the cold familiar peck.
3 months in Brittany found herself enjoying sex again. She was excited about it too, making playlists of song that got her in the mood – and helped her when she was already there. She stopped focussing on triggers like the sounds of her thighs or their tummies slapping together.
3 More Months Later?
At the 6 month point she finally removed her camisole during sex allowing both her and Andy to enjoy her body equally, and put the pleasure first instead of trying to find a flattering angle. And after 6 more months that comfort with her body extended into the rest of her life.
A Year of Sex, The Results
Brittany was finally comfortable in her owns skin walking around the house naked when she felt like it. They didn’t continue to have sex every day but their intimacy stayed. Most importantly Britany was comfortable in her skin and found herself attractive.