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So, single life is really awesome, let’s get that out of the way. A night out usually consists of getting drunk AF, partying with all your friends, and never having to worry about another person the whole time. But, when you do find someone and luck out, that’s a whole different ball game.
When you do click with a certain someone, it can be pure magic. You can still get drunk AF with all your friends but you’ll have a partner that can take care of you and get your drunk ass home. Cool concept, right? And they’ll still probably be willing to have sex with you when your drunk ass asks for it. Jackpot!
These 17 texts show off some pretty amazing and hilarious partners. Don’t be too jealous single folk, your time will come.
(731): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out toally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
(603): Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
(207): She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marraige sucks.
(972): he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
(202): My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I’m living the dream.
(731): We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
(586): My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
(404): Don’t act like you’re not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
(850): so…the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love you!
(403): Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery – still got morning sex. Marriage rules some times!
(603): thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you’re beautiful!
(240): I’m home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He’s either stupid, whipped, or i’m just THAT good.
(770): There just aren’t enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese. (404): My wife ladies and gentleman! Love ya babe.
(512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
(401): My wife just tried to justify to my why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of ‘well if its what you need’
(845): And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him…and he did a good job
(913): Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We’ve got some Madden to beat. (1-913): You’re the best girlfriend ever.